First post...just because

I absolutely love to write. I've been writing ever since I could. I remember as a child, writing stories, poems, letters. In fact, every holiday or birthday, I think my gift consisted of some written word (some completely unintelligible blabber) but nonetheless, I was writing.

I’d have to say the most I write is typically poetry, but certainly not because that’s the way I want it. But it’s always been an outlet for me. I guess it’s a way to get the thoughts and feelings out, without necessarily sharing them with anyone. I often share my poetry with others, however have of late, shied away from it somewhat. Again, not necessarily because I don’t want to share, but my standards of whom I share with have raised slightly.

Lately I’ve been writing a lot. Mostly articles, however I’ve also had some fun with blogs (I have four); and poetry of course. I began freelance writing back in 1995, and was published a few times. A couple of anthologies picked me up and published me (a great honor), as well as the one really nice thing I will always remember my ex husband for. He bragged about a poem I had written about the Oklahoma City Bombing and wound up getting it published for me. It was an honor to see my work in print, and really felt good. Again, this was back in 1995. Now it’s 2005 and I am still trudging along.

So many people have told me in my life, that I should be a writer. I know my mother has supported me from the very start. I remember my high school English teacher telling me I “had what it took”. Why didn’t I ever listen? I find myself 32 years old and not living out my dream.

I’ve contemplated why. Trying to discover within myself, what stops me. Is it because of rejection? Is it because I am sharing a piece of my soul, I might otherwise have left untouched? Do I feel I am not good enough? Do I not have enough support? Have I not prayed enough about it. Honestly I guess I’ve thought on all those things, and really, praying is the only answer.

The paths I’ve taken over the years, have almost always directly, or indirectly led me to write in some form. Not that I’m complaining since I love to write and probably type upwards of 80 wpm. But I am not interested in typing up someone’s papers; I am really not interested in newsletters and journal types. Really, I just want to write – you know – some earth shattering, soul bearing article.

I know in time it will come. It’s about the faith. And I have it. As I close my eyes each night, I will remember to ask God for direction down this path I want to take. I will ask that He take my hand and lead me in the right direction. And I will know, that if I am meant to be a writer, I will be.

Excercise of the Day:
Close your eyes and try to clear you mind. I know it's hard. Open word pad or your notebook or whatever you write with, and just start writing for ten minutes. Write everything and anything that comes to mind. Sentences do not/should not be complete in some cases. Just ramble. On and on - it's not supposed to make sense. Now, do this everyday for the rest of your life. This is such a great way to get story ideas and your own points of view.